


Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise.

by casteehell



Series: Road Full of Promise [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Benny Lafitte - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Fem!Cas, M/M, Multi, Romance, Supernatural - Freeform, fem!dean, fem!destiel, male!charlie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-25
Packaged: 2017-12-29 00:56:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casteehell/pseuds/casteehell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Introductory to the story of Deana Winchester and Cassiel(Cas) Novak. Modern day. Deana Fixes up the Impala and goes to school after summer break, as a Senior, and meets someone new. A beautiful someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Deana was hunched over beneath the hood of the Impala as ‘Rock of Ages’ was blaring from her old stereo sitting on a work bench to her left. She was wiggling her butt to the sounds while she tightened a bolt. She was finally done doing all of the restorations for her baby and she was excited. She wiped her greasy hands on her tiny, cut up denim shorts and straightened her back stretching a bit as she did. She shut the hood of Baby and smiled as she quickly started moving all the the parts and tools that were laid out in front of the like new vehicle. She grabbed the keys from the work bench that were next to the stereo and bolted for the drivers door. She hopped in, slamming the door and shoving the keys in the ignition. The engine roared to life and then dulled to a sexy purr. Deana’s grin was huge as she revved the engine and gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. She took a cassette tape out of the middle console, that was her fathers, and pushed it into the radio. ‘Paradise City’ started slowly and she snapped her head so her hair laid on her right shoulder, pushed the car into gear and slammed her foot on the pedal. She turned a sharp left and was heading off of her street and headed towards the highway. With the windows down her hair was flying furiously around her head as she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. The vibrations of the car and the wind on her face made her feel alive, made her feel reckless. She pulled a cigarette out of the pack lying next to her on the seat and lit it as she pushed harder on the gas pedal.  
After about 20 minutes of driving she decided to take the exit for Lawrence and go to her favorite diner. She had to pick up Sammy at school in an hour anyways, which was only 10 minutes from the diner. She got out of the car and bent over, flipping her hair in front of her and putting it into a messy pony tail. She threw her cigarette on the ground and stepped on it on her way into the diner. The jingle of the door got the attention of a few people already sitting and eating, but she didn’t look at any of them as she walked to the very back and claimed her favorite seat. It was a table that had a booth on the wall and chairs on the other side of the table, she liked to be able to watch the door. She plopped down on the booth side and propped her feet up on the chair across from her. The waitress, Clara, came over with a big smile and greeted her.

 

"Well hey Deana! How are you today?" She said with a bright smile and her notepad and pen in hand, ready to take her order. Clara was a slightly plump lady in her mid-thirties and Deana was her favorite customer. Deana beamed back at her.

"I’m great C! I just got Baby finished up today and she’s running great!" She pointed out of the window and gestured to the Impala. Clara looked and squealed. 

"Oh! How great! That’s all you've been talking about for the last few months now! I’m glad you got it finished sweetheart." She paused. "Are you going to have the usual?"  
Deana nodded and laughed, “Actually, can you ask them to put extra bacon this time? In celebration.” she said with a wink. 

Clara laughed in agreement and headed back to the kitchen. Deana let out a huff, blowing a stray hair from her face, as she looked down at the keys in her hand. She tossed them back and forth between her hands and felt a tinge of pride creeping to her cheeks as she smiled to herself. Her train of thought was interrupted when a group of four boys stampeded their way to the booth next to her, pushing their chairs around loudly and talking obnoxiously. Deana rolled her eyes and shoved her keys into her pocket. Clara came back with her soda and she gave her an apologetic look that Clara shrugged off and forced a smile on her face as she turned to take the rowdy boys’ order. 

Deana sipped on her soda as she waited for her food and listened to what the boys next to her ordered. She knew them from school, but wasn't particularly interested in anything they did, but they were so close and she didn't have anything else to listen to. 

"Yeah, I’ll take a double cheeseburger, cheese only, and a soda." One of the boys said, Gabriel, he was in one of her classes. The others made similar orders and Clara got their drinks and set them in front of them. Gabriel looked over at Deana with a smirk on his face and nudged his goon on the other side of him. 

"Hey." he said with entertainment in his voice. When Deana took another drink from her soda his smile dropped and he leaned in closer to where she was sitting.  
"I said HEY." He said it louder and Deana slowly turned her face with her eyebrows raised. 

"Uh, what?" She said with irritation obvious on her tongue. Gabriel’s smile reappeared on his face and he placed an elbow on his knee as he talked to her.  
"Aren’t you the lesbian in my English class?" His goons hardly tried to hide their laughs and Gabriel just grinned at her. 

Deana just smiled. “Most likely, we don’t have a lot of carpet munchers that I know of at LHS.” Gabriel laughed out at her response and made some more snide remarks about her sexual orientation. She just sat back in her booth and looked un-amused. 

"Yeah, I heard about your girlfriend….Lisa?" Deana’s head shot sideways and gave him a look as if to warn him to keep his mouth shut. Her lips became tight and her eyes narrowed. Gabe continued, "Yeah. Heard she left you for some douche-bag college guy and said she didn't even like girls. Said she was just using you to see what it was like." 

"You shut your fucking mouth." Deana’s fist was balled up under the table and she was struggling to keep it there. Gabriel looked amused that he was getting under her skin.

"Yeah, she said that you told her that she was the best you’ve ever had. You even told her that you loved her when you were drunk once." Deana took in a deep breath and kept her fist where it should be, on her lap. She got up from the booth leaned over and got right in Gabriel’s face.

"Did you know gossiping makes your dick small?" She looked at his crotch,"and by the looks of it you’ve been talking a lot of shit lately. Go fuck yourself, Gabe." She straightened up and waved goodbye with her middle finger and stalked off. She was steaming hot, her face was probably tinged with pink, but she kept her cool. She stopped at the front cash register and Clara had already boxed up her food. 

"You’re too good for me Clara." She said, forcing a laugh and Clara just waved her hand and gave her the double bacon cheeseburger. 

"Congratulations again on the car!" Clara said after she received the money for the food and Deana was walking out the door. Deana waved behind her head and trotted off towards Baby.

"Hey sis!" Samantha Winchester said as she opened the door to the car and pushed all of her school things into the back seat. She plopped her body down in the seat and pulled her seat belt over her shoulder. 

"Hey, Sammy. How’d the tutoring go?" She started the car and sped off towards the exit. Sammy held on to the door handle and Deana took that as a sign to slow down.  
"It was good, I was teaching a middle school kid fractions. I really like tutoring. I think If the whole, ‘becoming a lawyer’ thing doesn't work out I’d make a great teacher." She said as she smiled to herself and pulled lint off of Deana’s plaid, rolled up sleeve. 

Deana let the pride she felt towards her sister creep into her thoughts while she laughed out, "You’re such a nerd, doing summer tutoring. How did my little sister, the one I’ve practically raised, become a nerd?" Sammy just snorted and let the question go unanswered. "How was your day sis? I see "your baby" is working." She said "your baby" with quotations and whined the words out of her mouth. She was laughing and Deana stuck her tongue out at her playfully.  
"Shut up. Yeah, she works like a charm too."

The rest of the ride home was filled with idle conversation. 

Deana warmed up left over pizza for Sammy to eat for dinner and she ate her burger from the diner. Gabriel was still under her skin even though the altercation had happened more than two hours ago. She thought of what he had said. Had Lisa really told everyone that? Well, obviously, because he knew. She felt the anger and embarrassment settle in her stomach as she scarfed down her food. She threw the rest of it away and washed the dishes before telling Sammy goodnight and dragging herself towards her room. The door at the end of the hall looked like it hadn't been opened all day. It probably hadn't been, but she opened her door and ignored what was behind the closed door at the end of the hall. The next morning Sammy was packing her lunch as Deana cleaned up their mess from breakfast. At 7:45am they walked to the car and Deana drove Baby to Lawrence High School.

The two girls entered the parking lot and heads followed them as the Impala roared to a parking spot reserved for Seniors. Deana coasted to a stop and parked beside a brand new mustang convertable. She got out of her vintage care and felt badass for even owning it. She slammed the doors shut and waited for Sammy at the trunk and when she caught up to her she put one arm around her little sisters shoulder and they walked into the school together. Deana showed Sammy the main office and told her to text her if she needed help finding anything. Sammy nodded and nervously walked into the office, turning to smile at her sister as the guidance counselor ushered her into her office. 

Deana slowly walked down the hall, scuffing her boots on the floor as she did. Her hips swayed in a tantalizing way that made people stop and stare. It didn't help that her jeans were low on her waist and her white t-shirt was barely below her belly button. She had a red plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, as usual, over top and the necklace Sammy gave her for Christmas around her neck. Deana was very attractive, even her enemies couldn't deny that. She had dark blonde hair that made her green eyes stand out even more, and she never wore any make up. She was stunning. But she wasn't the easiest person to get along with, so she didn't have any girl friends running up to her and asking how her summer went. She just relished in the attention she obtained from walking down the hallway and walked to her locker. She put the combination in and opened it, although she didn't know why she bothered anymore. She never had anything in there but some old books from freshman year and a mirror on her door. She looked at her piercing green eyes in the mirror and whispered to herself, “here we fucking go.” And she slammed the door shut.

The day went by slower than she thought it would and it didn't fail that she got yelled at in every class for not having her books. When the lunch bell rang she pushed passed the slow walkers to her favorite spot behind the gym. She leaned up against the wall and pulled the cigarettes from out of her bra and slipped on into her mouth. She lit it and took a long drag as she closed her eyes and tilted her head towards the sky. She heard footsteps and went to throw the cigarette down as she jerked her head down to see who was approaching. 

"Stop!" said a quiet voice,"it — it’s only me. I don’t mind." She looked down at her feet and Deana froze in place. She was looking at the most beautiful, brown haired girl she’d ever seen. She put the cigarette back in her mouth and took another drag before speaking. 

"What are you doing back here?" she slid down the wall and gestured for the unknown girl to sit next to her. She did and Deana felt her hand brush the skin of her arm as she situated herself against the wall. Deana scooted over a little so she couldn't smell the amazing smell of the girl’s shampoo. She took another drag of her cigarette. 

"Oh. I just didn’t want to be in the cafeteria. I don’t like being around a lot of people usually, it makes me anxious." She said as she looked down at her shoes. Deana looked her over again. She was wearing a light jacket with huge buttons on the front that were the same color of the jacket, tan. She had a thin blue scarf tucked into her white dress shirt she was wearing underneath it and a black shirt that was showing off her kneecaps at the moment. 

"You and me both," she snorted. "So, name? Grade?"

The girl looked over at her with a warm but nervous smile. Deana looked back and her breath caught in her chest. She had the most gorgeous, bluest eyes she’s ever seen. Her skin looked soft and all she wanted to do was touch her face and smash their lips together. Deana shook the thoughts from her head and smiled awkwardly back and looked away.

"My names Cassiel, but a lot of people call me Cassie. And I’m a Senior, what about you?" She was fidgeting with the end of her skirt that was lying right above her knees.  
"That’s a weird name." She looked at her to see if she’d offended her, but Cassiel just laughed. 

"I’m Deana, I’m a Senior too. How come I've never seen you before?" Because I would have definitely remembered seeing those eyes, she thought to herself. 

"Oh, I’ve been away at a private school I attended my freshman year. I decided I wanted to come back to Lawrence to finish my Senior year. I will be going to KSU next year." She smiled to herself, obviously excited, and reached out her hand towards Deana.

"Nice to meet you." She beamed.

Deana looked at her and wanted to laugh in her face for being so cheesy and say, "Who shakes hands anymore?" but she didn't. Instead she clutched her hand and shook it.  
"Nice to meet you, Cas." And she stepped on the butt of her cigarette.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deana and Sammy wake up to find something missing...Charlie comes home, and Deana gets asked out on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The parts where people are texting: Bold is always Deana. Italic is always the other person. 
> 
> I thought this chapter was a little better. I know it's slowly working up to it, but I kind of like it? :3 
> 
> Give me suggestions please!!!! Tell me what you like/don't like!  
> Thanks for reading! <333

Cassiel's breath was hot on Deana's ear as she breathed out a soft sigh and pressed their naked bodies closer together. Deana's fingers were running through her dark brown hair as her other hand was rubbing soft, light circles on the breathtakingly beautiful girl on top of her. Deana held tight to Cas and flipped their positions so that she was on top of her. Cassie was looking up at her with red cheeks, biting her lip as she laid back on the pillow. Deana half smiled and kissed her sweet tasting lips. Cas let her tongue venture into Deana's mouth and they both let out a soft moan. Deana parted their mouths and started kissing down Cassie's neck. She kissed and flicked her tongue all the way down her body to the tops of her hips. Once there, she stopped and looked up at Cas and bit her lip, stroking both of her thighs lightly as Cas squirmed at her touch. She kissed both of her thighs lightly and then she moved her wanting lips and tongue to the most sensitive spot on Cas' body.

"DEANA! DEEEANA!" Deana's head shot up, her hair flying everywhere. She jumped out of bed and stumbled over her boots.

"Shit!" She hissed. "Wha- what Sammy!?" 

Between her legs were wet from the dream. _God, that dream was just getting good too_ , she thought. She shuffled over to her drawer and yanked out some shorts and changed into them quickly. She walked over to the door and pulled it open to see Sammy's tear streaked face. Her irritated face quickly vanished and her brows furrowed. She put her hands on her little sisters shoulders and looked deep into her face. 

"Sammy, what's wrong? What happened? Are you okay?" She said quickly looking for bruises or scratches, but found none. She let out a little sigh. Samantha sniffed and wiped at her eyes and her face became angry. 

"Just come here." She said as she walked towards the door at the end of the hall. It's their mothers room. She never comes out unless she's going down to the liquor store or wants to start a fight with Deana. Mary would occasionally decide to sober up for a few days and surprise the girls by showering and making them breakfast; waffles, Sammy's favorite. Then it would be back to drinking and wasting away in her room. The girls would sometimes forget what she looked like, they would forget that she was even alive. Deana's heart started beating quickly and loud. _She's dead. Sammy found her dead in her room and now she's going to be screwed up. Damnit, oh God, please._ Her thoughts were racing as she walked through the door behind Sam. She looked around the empty room and her heart beat evened. There was nothing in there but a messed up bed, some clothes strewn on the floor, and a note on the bed. Sammy bent over to pick up the piece of crumpled paper and shoved it at Deana. She took it and read it. It was short and to the point, but it wasn't sweet.

_Don't ever give up. Sorry girls._  
Love,  
Mom 

 

 

Deana sat on the end of her mother's cold bed and stared at the note. Sammy sat next to her looking down at her feet and sniffling. Deana crumpled up the paper and threw it into the bare closet and wrapped her arms around her baby sister. Sammy let the sobs escape her throat as she held her body as close to her big sisters as possible. Deana's eyes stung but she never let the tears fall. She wasn't going to let this bump in the road rain on her parade. _It's not like she was here anyways... but she did pay the bills, however the hell she did that._ Deana took in a big breath and straightened her body. She pulled Sammy from her chest and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Sammy. This is not going to break us, okay? We can do this without her. Me and you, hell we can do anything Sammy!" She kissed her forehead and gave her one last squeeze before standing up. "Okay, go take a shower and I'll make you some breakfast and then we're going to school, okay? It's just like any other normal day." Sam nodded and wiped her face and headed towards the bathroom. Deana saw the slack in her shoulders and how she let them sag as she walked by. _It's just like any other normal day._ She said again, to herself, and went into the kitchen and started cooking.

 

 

The drive to school was quiet until Sammy broke the silence right after they got off of the interstate. 

"What are we going to do for money, D?" She said as she slumped in the passengers seat of the Impala. Deana looked over at her, cigarette in her left hand, and smiled.

"I'll get my job back at the shop of course!" She said as she pulled on her cigarette and flicked it out the window. "You know Bobby would let me come back whenever I want to. He was only Dad's best friend since they were kids." Deana's eyes stung at the sound of her fathers name but she didn't let Sammy see her falter. "We're gonna be ok Sammy. We've pretty much been doing this already, taking care of each other. What's gonna change?" Samantha said nothing as the car came to a stop in a parking spot. She shrugged her shoulders and got out of the car and walked towards the school keeping a good ten foot distance between her and Deana.

 

Deana walked to her locker and opened it. She looked inside at the emptiness and glanced in the mirror at her un-brushed hair and tired eyes. She slammed the locker door shut and flipped her hair over and put it into a messy pony tail. As she flipped her hair back she was face to face with Charlie. He was almost standing on top of her, she jumped back a little bit. "Damnit, Charlie!" She said but she put her arms around his shoulders anyways. He put his arms around her waist and twirled her around in the middle of the hallway. Deana leaned away from him and put her hands on either side of his face and smushed his cheeks together, he hated that. She laughed as he swatted at her hands and reached his hand around to pull on her pony tail. 

"Ow!" She laughed. "When did you get back, man?!" She was beaming. She hadn't seen her friend in a whole year because he had been away visiting his very sick mother. His mom wasn't happy that he was gay and so she had told him to stay away, but when he found out she was sick he stayed with some friends in Lebanon and secretly visited her when she was sleeping. The two friends had kept in touch through text and phone calls but it was good to have him back. Charlie ran his hand through his dark red hair and chuckled. 

"I just got back today. I thought I'd come by the ol' high school and see you." He pushed at her arm and smiled big at her. There was a bit of sadness in his eyes that only Deana could see. His mom had passed away a week before and he had said that he didn't get to actually tell her goodbye. Deana hugged him again and squeezed even harder this time. Charlie returned the hug.

"Hang out tonight?" He said as he pulled away. 

"Hell yeah. Come by at like 5pm tonight. I have to go talk to Bobby Singer after school about getting my job back. Then we can hang out." Charlie nodded and turned on his heels fast walking out of the high school. 

Deana felt a little happier knowing that Charlie was back and that she had someone to talk to, but the whole day she half listened to her teachers. When the lunch bell rang she pushed her way through the people and slipped away to her usual spot behind the gym. Her heart skipped a beat when she remembered Cassiel. She wondered if she'd be there today. She poked her head around the corner and when she saw no one she positioned herself against the wall, pulled out her cigarettes from her bra and lit one. She sat for a moment, thinking about the dream she had experienced this morning. She remembered exactly how Cas' breath had felt on her body and she could taste her mouth. She closed her eyes and replayed the dream over again in her mind. 

"You should really be more aware of your surroundings, Deana." Came an angelic voice. Deana's eyes flew open and she was looking up the legs of an angel, well as close to an angel as she was going to get. Today Cas was wearing black straight legged jeans, a white see through shirt with a tank top underneath and her tan coat with the big buttons over top of it. Deana looked over the girls body and noticed the girl's feet shuffle with nerves. 

"Hah, yeah." Deana took another drag of her cigarette and Cas sat down, close beside her so that their shoulders were touching. Deana looked over at the girl who was looking right at her. Deana's breath caught and she shifted over a little. 

"Don't you know anything about personal space?" She said, a little irritated. Cassie just looked at her and smiled as she moved a stray piece of hair from her face. 

"I have been told that I don't know boundaries, but I just thought you looked upset and most people like the comfort of another person beside them." She looked over Deana's face as she talked to see what she was feeling, but Deana was a stone. Cas frowned a little and looked straight ahead to where she watched some boys throw a football around. Deana sighed and propped her arms on her bent knees laying her head on her crossed arms. Her cigarette was letting off smoke that was swirling around the two of them like a halo. She flicked it over to the side and faced Cassiel. 

"It's fine. I'm just not used to someone being so..close." She cleared her throat and closed her eyes for a moment. _If she doesn't scoot over right now I think I might go crazy._ She felt Cas inch closer to her and she opened her eyes and was staring right into the other girls. Cas had put herself in the same position as Deana and was smiling softly in her direction, looking directly into her eyes. She never moved her eyes and it even looked like she barely blinked when she looked at Deana. Cas was so strange and so new that she didn't know how to react when she was near her. Deana's face started to get hot as she remembered her amazing dream and the softness of Cas' thighs. She licked her lips involuntarily and noticed a small smirk on Cas' lips. 

"Would you like to do something with me sometime?" Cas said as she lifted her head from her arms. Deana straightened her body as well and looked down at her boots. _What the hell did she just say? Is she asking me out on a date? Oh shut up D, it's not like that._

"What do you mean 'do something'?" Cas giggled at the question. 

"You know, go somewhere and have fun. Do something, anything really." Cas was still looking directly at her and Deana started to feel uncomfortable. She didn't answer for a long time and they sat in silence and she finally decided to answer before the bell rang again.

"Sure, we can 'do something' sometime, Cas." She looked over and smiled awkwardly and stood. She held out her hand to Cassie and she pulled her up off the ground. The were standing close together and Deana noticed that she was a few inches taller than Cassie. She realized that their hands were still together and immediately dropped hers and tightened her pony tail. 

"I think we should probably exchange numbers, so we can talk about a day to meet." Cas slid her hand in her coat pocket and pulled out a sharpie and motioned to Deana's hand. She willingly let Cas hold it and write down her number. Her handwriting was messy, but adorable because it was bubbly and girly and her three's swirled in the middle. Deana took the sharpie and wrote her number on Cas' hand as well, her handwriting was horrible and not adorable at all. Cas looked down at it and smiled. 

"Talk soon." She said as she turned and walked away towards her next class.

"Yeah." Deana sighed, and fast walked towards the main building in the opposite direction.

 

 

 

 

 

After dinner Samantha was doing her homework on the living room floor as Deana sat at the dining room table smoking a cigarette and absentmindedly watching whatever was on T.V. The door rang and Sam jumped up and opened it to see Charlie's beaming face. Sam squealed and attack hugged him making him stumble backwards. 

"Well hey there little Sammy!" he laughed. "You've gotten tall, kid. What are you feeding her D?" he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tight and tickled at her sides when he slid his arms from around her, making her giggle. Charlie walked over to where Deana was and sat in the chair opposite of her. Deana half smiled and slid her pack of cigarettes towards him which he proceeded to extract one and light it. He took a drag and then leaned over the table and put a serious expression on his face.

"Now tell me what's going on."

Charlie always knew when something was up with Deana. They had been friends for as long as they can remember. Their dad's had worked together, along with Bobby, at a shop in Lawrence. Then when Bobby opened his own junk yard and garage the other two had went to work for him. Charlie's dad had 'disappeared' when he was eight leaving him and his older brother to take care of their sick mother. His mom didn't get bad until Charlie had turned eighteen and by that time her and his brother weren't talking to him because of his sexuality. He was there when Deana's father, John, had died when she was seven. He was also there for her when Mary started getting bad. They were both thrown into heavy lives, but at least they weren't doing it alone. Deana stared at Charlie and shook her head. 

"How do you always know, man?" She pushed her cigarette into the ash tray and propped her legs up on the chair. Sammy's phone rang and she looked at the screen blushing and mumbled that she would be back and ran down the hallway to her room. Deana took a deep breath and looked at Charlie.

"Mom left." she said nonchalantly as she slid the crumpled and ripped paper towards him. He read it twice and then threw it on the table. 

"What the fuck is that? That's not a good-bye! That's not even right! You've been taking care of her and Sammy since John died and she just says, SORRY, love mom?" Charlie stood up and started pacing in front of his chair and Deana sat up straight in her chair. 

"You know how she's been though, Charlie. She's just messed up man. Maybe she'll figure out what it is that she needs to fix and come home and just be a mom to Sammy. She could be getting help..." Deana let that thought, that dream, fall apart as soon as it came out of her mouth. She knew her mom wasn't out trying to fix herself and she knew that she wasn't going to come home and be the perfect mother that she was when she was younger. Even if she did come home and tried, Sammy would never forgive her. Deana leaned over the table and put her head in her hands. 

"Well, at least Bobby let me have my job back." She huffed and Charlie plopped back down in his seat. "I think I'm going to drop out." She didn't lift her head but she knew the look Charlie was giving her. 

"Don't you even say something so stupid, Deana. Your best bet is to stay in school, go to college and make something of yourself, for Sam's sake." Deana looked up at him.

"What am I gonna go to school for, Charlie? All I can do is tear apart cars and put them back together! That's my job. That's what I can do to help Sammy." Her eyes burned and she felt like she was going to start sobbing, but she held it in and crossed her arms across her chest and looked away at the blank wall behind Charlie.

"It's up to you, kid, but as your big brother I'm tellin' you...don't make that mistake. And trust me," he paused until she looked at him. "It **is** a mistake."

The conversation stopped as Sammy walked back out and into the living room. Deana walked over to the couch, Charlie not far behind her, and sat down. Charlie sat in the middle and both girls were on either side of him and he put his arms around each of their shoulders and they cuddled up to him as he scanned the channels for a movie. Deana shifted her head towards Sammy's.

"Who were you on the phone with?" Sam didn't move her gaze from the T.V.

"None of your business, that's who." Deana snorted. 

"It was a boy wasn't it? Ooooohh, Sammy's got a boyfriend! What's his name?" She teased. Samantha just told her to shut up and the three of them watched The Shinning, Deana's favorite movie.

 

Charlie was passed out on the couch and Sammy had gone to bed as Deana sat outside on the front steps of her small house. It was quiet outside except for the light wind and the faint sound of cars on the main road. Deana puffed on her cigarette and thought about everything that had happened that day. She thought about her mother and where she might be and what she was doing. She quickly stopped those thoughts though because they started to make her angry. Then she smiled at the fact that Charlie was back and how happy Sammy had been when she saw him. She was happy too. Despite the fact that she was now in charge of keeping a roof over Sammy's head and buying her meals and making sure she was okay, Deana felt good. She had a job now and she had her friend and her little sister and she had... She looked down at her hand and at the numbers on it. They were a bit faded, but she could still make them out. She pulled out her phone and just as she did it vibrated. She looked at the screen and it was an unsaved number.

 

 _7852348674_ : Hi! It's Cassiel. Just wanted to text you so you have my number.

Deana laughed and shook her head and typed in her reply.

 **Cas. you wrote your number on my hand. of course i have it.**  
 _: Well, actually I just needed an excuse to text you._  
  
Deana's smile was huge.  
  
 **Well ok. what's up?**  
 _Sitting outside, enjoying the fresh air. What are you up to?_  
 **pretty much the same thing..**  
Deana thought of what to say next as she let her thumbs rest on the buttons, but she couldn't think of anything good so she just waited.  
  
 _Do you like to watch movies?_  
  
Deana laughed out loud when she read the question, who asks that?  
  
 **yeah. who doesn't like watching movies? haha**  
 _Just making sure...Would you like to go to the Drive-In this weekend?_  
  
Holy crap...THIS was a date. She was asking her out on a date right now. Or maybe she just takes all her friends to movies? Deana took a determined breath.  
  
 **you know i like girls...right?**  
 _Yes, I do know that._  
  
The reply was immediate. Deana blinked, was Cas into her?  
  
 **okay. just makin sure you knew that. sure.**  
 _Is Friday after school alright?_  
 **yeah**  
 _Okay! See you at school tomorrow! :)_  
 **yep. see ya.**

Deana walked inside and shut the door as quietly as she could. She grabbed a blanket from the hall closet and put it over Charlie and tip toed to her bedroom. She slid her shirt off of her body, her pants and socks following. She un hooked her bra and climbed into bed. She laid on her back for a little while and then she took her phone off of her bedside table and reread the messages that her and Cas had just exchanged. She kept thinking if she read them enough she'd be able to decode what Cas was actually thinking. She couldn't figure it out. She wasn't sure if Cas was into her or not, but she definitely got vibes...Deana decided it was too much to think about right now and turned on her side, put the phone back on the table and forced herself to have a good night's sleep. When she closed her eyes she could smell Cassiel's shampoo and it immediately relaxed her stressed mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Friday came slowly for Deana. The days seemed to drag on, making it seem like weeks that had passed instead of three days. Deana and Cas had talked little since their texting on Tuesday night. Cas didn't meet her behind the gym like she usually did and she never walked behind her while she was at her locker looking into her mirror. Deana was starting to think that Cassie had heard something about her and changed her mind about their "date" _Why am I even calling it a fucking date?_ Deana was sliding a cigarette between her lips as Sammy ran up behind her and pushed her shoulder as she tried to light it. The flame went out from the push and Deana turned and playfully punched Sam's shoulder. 

"Quit it, bitch" Deana smiled and successfully lit the cigarette. Sammy pushed her hair from out of her eyes and laughed at her big sisters comment.

"Jerk." She replied with a grin. They walked to the Impala and Sammy threw her bag in the backseat and plopped down into the passengers seat. Deana situated herself behind the wheel of her baby and started the engine. Her pocket vibrated. 

_Just wanted to be sure we are still meeting tonight._

Deana smiled and quickly typed a response.

**Yeah. i didnt know if you still wanted to...i haven't seen you all week.**

"Who are you texting?" Sammy was leaning over to get a good look at her cell phone. Deana moved it away from her eyesight. "You're smiling awfully big, D! Who is it?!"

"God, Sammy. None of your business, okay? You're still going to your friend's house tonight right?" Samantha sighed and collapsed back into her seat. 

"Yeah. It's Jo, you remember her, right? She wants me to spend the whole weekend over there, is that okay?" She looked at Deana with the most pitiful puppy dog eyes ever. That was Sammy's signature move, it worked on everyone, especially Deana. Deana sighed and rolled her eyes as she backed the car out of the parking spot and threw her cigarette out. 

"Yeah, I guess so. Just make sure you text me every once in a while." Sammy squealed an excited "THANKS!" and started to excitedly text on her phone.

When Deana parked Baby in front of the house, Sammy grabbed her bag and ran into the house. Deana sat in the car for a few moments and pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. 

_Yes, sorry about that. I've been very busy lately. Is 6pm okay? I can pick you up if you'd like._

**I was gonna ask if you wanted me to pick you up..**

Deana liked being the chivalrous one, and she had a very strong urge to treat Cassiel like a princess, even though she'd never admit it. 

_How about I drive to your house and we can take your car to the drive-in. Is that all right with you?_

Deana shrugged, close enough.

**Sure. See ya soon.**

Deana looked at the clock on her phone, it read 5:15pm. She got out of the car and hurried for the bathroom. She took a quick shower and towel dried her hair as fast as she could. She hoped that Sammy would be gone before Cas got here, but she wasn't that lucky.

 

The doorbell rang at 5:45 and Deana was still figuring out what shirt to put on. _Shit,_ she thought as she stumbled around her thrown clothes. She heard Sammy running down the hallway towards the door.

"I'll get it!" She yelled.

"Hi, I'm Cassiel. I'm meeting Deana." Deana heard the soft angelic voice that she knew belonged to Cas. She tore through her closet and settled on one of her nicer button up plaid shirts. It was dark blue with orange and black plaid throughout. She quickly looked in the mirror and decided to leave her hair down. She slammed her feet into her boots, sprayed some perfume on her neck and yanked open her bedroom door. When she reached the living room she saw Sammy looking at Cas with curious, but friendly eyes. 

"So, how do you guys know each other?" Deana walked up behind Sammy and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Dude, when is your friends mom going to be here? I was supposed to be out of here by 6..." She looked at Cas, "You're early, by the way." Cas looked down at her knees and laughed quietly.

"Yes, I'm always early. I'm sorry." She blushed and looked at Deana, right in the eyes. Deana cleared her throat and mumbled an "it's fine".

"So? When will she be here?" She said to Sam who was looking between the two of them and grinning. 

"D, she'll be here soon, just go! I'll be fine! I'll text you when she gets here." Deana looked at her sister. Sammy was giving her the puppy eyes and she sighed and gave her a hug. 

"Okay, call me if you need anything. And if something happens definitely call me. And if she doesn't show up just text me and I'll be right back home, okay?" Sammy was pushing her towards the door. 

"Oh, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!" She said as her little bigger sister pushed her out the door with Cas laughing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well, I have a lot to do then!" She joked, but when Deana glared at her and started to open her mouth she replied with a quick, "I'm only kidding! Go have fun, you deserve it!"

Deana walked down the stairs and looked back again at her little sister before she reached the Imapla. Sammy waved excitedly and she slammed the door behind her. Deana reached the passenger side door and opened it for her "date". Cas blushed and whispered a 'thank you' as she walked too close to Deana as she slid into the passengers seat. Deana's pocket vibrated as she closed the door and walked in front of the car to her own door. 

_She's cute, D!_

Deana sighed.

**Shut up, Sammy! Be safe this weekend.**

Buzz.

_Love you_

**Love ya too, bitch ;)**

Deana put the keys into the ignition and looked over at Cas who glanced over at her with a shy smile. Deana started the engine as she looked back into Cas' eyes and it felt like her heart started with the Impala because it started beating uncontrollably. 

Buzz.

_Jerk_

 

The first 10 minutes of the drive was awkward, with neither of them saying anything for quite some time. Cassiel broke the silence first. 

"This is a lovely car, Deana. When did you get it?" Cassiel was fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. She was wearing a see through lace shirt with blue buttons down the front and a black tank top underneath. She had her usual tan jacket with the big buttons over top and her hair was half pulled back with her bangs draping adorably over her eyes. She had light pink lipstick on and only a little bit of mascara on. Deana looked over at her and saw the outline of her face in the light of an overhead street lamp and she took in a sharp breath. _Damnit, why does she have to be so attractive?_ She cleared her throat and pulled out a cigarette from her bra.

"Do you mind if I smoke? I wont if it bothers you in here. I know it's a small space." She was rambling and she stopped herself. Cas put a hand on her shoulder and looked at her with an amused smile. 

"Are you nervous?" She asked, bluntly. Deana sighed and rolled her eyes. 

"Just answer the damn question." She said impatiently. Cassie giggled. 

"It wont bother me." Deana lit her cigarette and took a long pull and exhaled slowly before speaking again.

"It was my dads." She said as she flicked her ashes and took another inhale of smoke. Cas looked at her and squinted her eyes.

"The car. It was my dads. I just finished fixing it up, actually." She said as she brushed an ash off of her shoulder. Cas shifted in her seat so that her face and body were facing Deana. 

"If you don't mind me asking, where is he? Your dad." Deana took another long pull of her cigarette before answering.

"He died when I was eight. He drove big rigs and he was somewhere in Illinois when he tried to stop for a car. It was raining so the brakes didn't stop very easily. Luckily the woman and her daughter lived, but my dad wasn't so lucky." Her words trailed off and she exhaled a cloud of smoke and tossed her cigarette out of the window and closed it. She was silently staring at the road when she noticed Cassiel looking at her sadly. 

"Jeez, stop it. I hate chick-flick moments...It's been ten years, there's nothing to cry over now." Deana pushed her hair back behind her shoulders and continued to stare straight out of the window. 

"Where is your mother? Who takes care of you and Samantha?" Cas was still staring at her and Deana felt like her eyes were burning right through her cheek. She let out a too loud hysterical laugh.

"She left, like, three days ago. Just wrote a note and left." Her smile dropped when she thought of how Sam had reacted. "Sammy took it pretty hard, but I think she's okay now. Ma was never around much anyways after Dad died." The car got silent again and Deana had to look over at Cas to make sure she was actually still there. Cassie was looking out the front window and Deana could see tears brimming her eyes. They had reached the drive-in and Deana paid the lady at the ticket box and drove around the crowded field and found a spot off to the side. They were close to the screen, but away from the crowd of other people. Deana unhooked her seat belt and turned towards Cas. She put her hand on her shoulder.

"Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bum you out. Don't be sad.." She leaned her head to the side to see her face better, but she immediately regretted it because she saw tears rolling down Cassie's face. Deana swallowed hard and started to talk again, but instead she heard Cas' voice. 

"It's just that." She sniffed and looked at Deana with wet cheeks. She wiped her cheeks with the palm of her hand and sniffed again. "My brother told me all these awful things about you. He said that you got into a lot of trouble and that your parents kicked you and your little sister out of the house because you were so horrible. And I'm sorry, but that's why I didn't talk to you. That's why I didn't come behind the gym to sit with you. I'm sorry. I judged you too quickly and I apologize Deana, and I really would like to make it up to you." She took a big shaky breath after her words had stopped tumbling out of her mouth and she sniffed and rubbed at her cheeks again. Deana was still working through the words that had come out of her mouth and she sat still for a few moments and decided to pull out another cigarette.

"Who's your brother?" Is all she could think of to ask. 

"Gabriel, Gabe Novak..." Cassiel pulled at her shirt and looked at the floor of the Impala. Deana dropped her cigarette on her leg. 

"Ah, shit!" She said as she grabbed at it and hurriedly brushed off the ashes. Her head snapped towards Cassiel. "Gabriel Fucking Novak?! You're related to that asshole? Wow. I knew this was a fucking joke. I'm the joke, right?" She threw her hands in the air with a laugh. She tried to re-light her cigarette but she was breathing too hard. Cas put a hand on her arm and she looked at her. Her head was tilted slightly to the right and her eyes were squinted in confusion. She looked insanely adorable in that moment and Deana wanted to laugh, but she didn't. She just went back to lighting her cigarette.

"What do you mean, joke? I don't understand." Deana got it to light and took in several inhales of smoke and exhaled them quickly. 

"Your brother hates me. And I hate him. Simple as that. Isn't that obvious?" She looked out her window. The movie was starting. It was an old comedy, black and white and a man was sitting on a bench talking to a pretty girl, they were laughing. Deana laughed to herself, _Some first date_. 

"Deana." She heard her name and she looked to her right to see Cassiel still sitting next to her and looking at her with concern. "There is no joke and it is certainly not you. I did not ask you out on this date to humiliate you or to hurt your feelings. I just want to get to know you better, that is all." She softly laid her hand on Deana's thigh. Deana looked down at the small hand on her leg and took in a sharp breath. She looked back at Cas and could see that there was no malice behind her stare. She sighed and her expression softened. 

"Sorry. It's just, your brother has done things like this to me before." She flicked her cigarette out and reached in the backseat and pulled out the two sodas she had laid in the backseat earlier. She handed one to Cas who willingly took it and twisted the cap open. 

"Done what before?" She said after she took a gulp of soda.

"He got this girl to ask me out once. She was really gorgeous and nice and funny...and then in the middle of our date I went to go to the bathroom and when I got back she was gone. When I saw her at school the next day she was with Gabriel. I asked her why she left and she just laughed in my face." Deana took a gulp of her own soda and set it in the cup holder by her knee. "She said 'I'm not a dyke, Deana. You're a lousy date anyways.' And they both walked off laughing. It was humiliating." Deana's face was like stone as she talked about it, even though she remembered getting home that day and locking herself in her room. Cas was quiet. She didn't say a word, but her hand was back on Deana's thigh, her thumb was caressing her leg softly. 

"Cas?" Deana leaned forward to look at her face. Her eyebrows where furrowed, but not in confusion. This time it was anger that was on her face. Deana could see Cas' emotions so clearly and it was refreshing. Cassiel seemed to wear her emotions on her sleeve, and Deana liked it that way. She hated having to guess how someone was feeling. Cas looked at Deana.

"I'm so sorry for how my brother has acted. That is revolting." She said as she removed her hand from Deana's thigh and pushed a stray hair behind her ear. Deana's shoulders softened and she sat back in her seat. _I always overreact. God, Deana...when are you going to learn to put your guard down?_

"Cas. Let's start over." She scooted all the way across the seat and put her arm around Cas' shoulder. "Let's drink this flat soda and watch this cheesy black and white movie and have a good time. Okay?" Cas giggled and pressed herself as close as possible to Deana's body. Deana switched the radio station to the one where you could hear the sound from the big screen. She felt Cas lay her head on her shoulder and she felt herself rest her chin on the top of her head.

They both laughed at the movie and when there was an intermission, Deana excused herself and went to the concession stand to buy them some popcorn. When she walked back up to the car she held her breath and thought _Please be there. Please still be there._ She poked her head through the window and smiled wide when she saw Cas' bright blue eyes looking back at her. She handed her the popcorn and slid through the window. Her head hit Cas' stomach. Cassiel let out a soft 'owh!' and they both started laughing as Deana's head landed on her lap and she looked up at her.

"Oh! Sorry Cas! My bad!" She said as she put her hand on Cassie's shoulder. Cas looked down at Deana with her hair splayed everywhere and her green eyes piercing through the dark car. Their laughter had stopped and they were now just looking at each other with smiles on their faces. Cas' hand was making it's way through Deana's hair slowly and Deana's hand had slid down to Cas' side. Cas bent her head downward as Deana stretched hers upwards and their lips met. Deana's hand had found it's way to Cas' cheek as she planted soft kisses to Cassiel's lips. Cassie just let Deana hold her face and navigate her mouth. Deana licked at the cornders of Cas' mouth and gave her a small, final kiss before she let her head fall back into Cas' lap. They looked at each other for a moment. 

"I have never done that before." Cas said as redness flushed her cheeks and she smiled down at Deana. 

"What?" Deana chuckled, "Kissed a girl?" Cas laughed and shook her head. 

"I have never been kissed before tonight." Deana sat up and turned her body so that it was facing Cas'.

"You mean that was your first kiss?! Ever?" Cas nodded her head, smiling. "Cas! You should have warned me! I could have done so much better..." Cas just giggled and grabbed Deana's neck and pulled their faces together. Deana's eyes were wide with surprise but she let her body be moved. Cassiel kissed Deana's bottom lip and timidly licked between her lips. Deana opened her mouth willingly and let Cas explore her tongue. Deana laid her arms on either of Cas' shoulders and as their lips and faces parted there was a permanent smile on both of their faces. 

"Wow," Deana sighed. "You learn fast." Cas laughed and laid against Deana's shoulder. They didn't say anything else for the rest of the movie, but they were both content. Deana's arm was draped over Cas and she tightened her hold on the beautiful girl when she thought of how soft her hands were on her cheeks. Deana was surprised at the closeness she was letting herself feel. She was surprised that she was opening herself up again after Lisa. And she was surprised that she wasn't mad about Cas being related to Gabriel. She was surprised, but she didn't even care. She was curled up in the Impala with a beautiful girl on her side and she was happy. She was finally happy.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a great fic writer, but I'm learning! Thanks for reading! There is profanity and there may be violence in later chapters, but things will be resolved and no need to worry! There is going to be homophobia being played out in this piece as well, if that bothers your I am sorry, I am in no way trying to offend anyone! Hope you enjoy! xx


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